


Every Step I Take (Is For Another's Sake)

by MoonytheMarauder1



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual James Potter, Bisexual Lily Evans Potter, Bisexual Regulus Black, First War with Voldemort, Flashbacks, Gay Sirius Black, Good Regulus Black, Horcruxes, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Memory Charms, Multi, Pregnant Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black Needs a Hug, Sirius Black is a Good Sibling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23494738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonytheMarauder1/pseuds/MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: Regulus knows that he has to destroy the Horcruxes—and that he has to do it alone. But in stead of leaving his lovers to heartbreak, he decides to erase himself from their lives forever.
Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 107





	Every Step I Take (Is For Another's Sake)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all! Another fic moved over from ffn. 
> 
> WARNINGS: memory loss/wipe, implied character death

Regulus' world had ended.

That's all he knew. That's all he could be certain of. But he couldn't stop moving.

He had a mission to complete—or else he'd just ruined his life for nothing.

He'd considered rushing ahead and going through with his plan, but Regulus wasn't a Gryffindor like his two lovers—ex-lovers—were. He wasn't so reckless. He needed a backup in case his plan failed.

Which was why he was outside his brother's apartment door, hands trembling as they reached out to knock.

He'd just removed his hand from the door, his silver ring flashing as it caught the artificial light and making his stomach twist, when it opened to reveal Sirius, disheveled and—

Regulus blanched. "Where are—why aren't you wearing—"

Sirius shrugged, unconcerned. "I've misplaced my pants."

Regulus gaped at his older brother, his fear and anguish momentarily forgotten. "And you answered the door like that?"

Sirius blew a stray strand of long dark hair out of his face before he answered. It took Regulus another second to realize that the rest of his brother's hair was up in—sweet Merlin—their mother's curlers. "You got past the wards; only people I trust can do that. I'm not bothered, really, if you lot see. Now, what are you doing here?"

Regulus bit his lip, hard. "I…"

Sirius straightened up, alarmed. "Trouble in paradise?" he joked weakly, almost desperate for a change in atmosphere.

Tears welled up in Regulus grey eyes despite his attempts to push them away. "You have no idea."

Sirius opened the door wider. "Come in," he said, uncharacteristically gentle. He placed a comforting hand on Regulus' shoulder, and while the younger boy didn't think he deserved it, he accepted the contact.

Regulus followed his brother inside, toeing off his boots once he was through the door. He looked around the apartment, even though he'd been there many times before, taking in the sheer normalcy of it all. Nothing had changed for Sirius.

Sirius shoved some stray clothes off the sofa and plopped himself down, uncaring about his state of undress. He patted the seat beside him, and Regulus gingerly lowered himself onto the cushion.

"Okay," Sirius began after a moment. "Spill. Something's happened, hasn't it?" When Regulus didn't answer, Sirius rolled his eyes. "You can't fool me, Reg. I listen to public radio."

Regulus looked at him sharply, and SIrius sighed in annoyance. "I read between the lines, idiot. I don't fall for the Ministry's shit, obviously. Now, can you please tell me what's happened?"

Regulus bit his lip. "I…"

A blanket was thrown over his shoulders. When he looked questioningly at Sirius, his brother shrugged. "You're shaking." There was a note of worry in his voice that Regulus seldom heard.

"Oh." Regulus swallowed thickly. To his horror, the night was beginning to catch up to him, and tears filled his eyes. "Sirius, I… James and Lily…"

Sirius sat up straighter, alert. "James and Lily what? Reg! _James and Lily what?_ "

Regulus took a deep breath and launched into his story. Once he started telling it, he couldn't stop.

* * *

_Regulus glanced over at his two lovers. The three of them were in the little cottage they shared in Godric's Hollow, content for the most part. James and Lily were snuggling by the fire in the sitting room, and while they'd invited Regulus over to join them several times, he just couldn't bring himself to._

_A Horcrux. Voldemort had made a Horcrux—maybe more than one._

_Regulus ran his long, pale fingers through his hair, struggling not to despair. How were they supposed to stop him now? His gaze traveled over to James and Lily, both so happy. Sorrow flooded him; Lily was pregnant with a baby that was biologically James', but it was going to be Regulus' baby, too… they were going to raise the little boy or girl together…_

_But was the world safe enough yet?_

_He knew where one Horcrux was. And he couldn't risk his family in the process to get it. If the Dark Lord were to discover his betrayal…_

_A safe world. The baby needed a safe world to grow up in._

_Regulus put his head in his hands and groaned. If going after the Horcrux killed him, he'd be putting his family through so much sorrow._

_There was no good way to do this._

_Hands were suddenly on his shoulders, and Regulus jumped. A low laugh sounded behind him._

" _So tense, Regulus." James leaned down to peck the other man's cheek. "What's the matter? You've been distracted all evening."_

_Regulus swallowed down his discomfort. "I—nothing. It's nothing."_

" _Oh, please. We know you better than that." Lily spoke that time. One hand was on her pregnant belly, the other coming to rest on Regulus' head. "What's the matter, love?"_

_Regulus tried to duck away, but James reached out to snatch him back and hold him close. Regulus tried not to melt into the embrace. "I'm not sure," he muttered. "I want to go out. See Sirius, maybe."_

_Lily smoothed his hair back. "I think that's a good idea. You two haven't seen enough of each other lately."_

" _Just make sure to go incognito, okay?" James' tone was joking, but his hazel eyes betrayed his worry. "Wouldn't want anything to happen to you before the little tyke is born."_

_But Regulus was beginning to realize that their little family wasn't meant to be; not if they wanted to keep their child safe. "What's so important about me?" he whispered. "What's so important about me that the kid needs me, I mean."_

_James and Lily exchanged glances over his head._

" _Regulus…" Lily began slowly, her brow furrowed, "you'll be able to teach him or her astrology, patience, how to reign in their temper…"_

" _Neither of s are any good at that," James chimed in._

_Lily nodded. "Right. You're an excellent Seeker, too. You're good in school, polite. What isn't important about you?"_

" _We can't raise the kid alone," James added in a solemn voice. "Don't you dare forget that."_

" _Mmm." Regulus leaned back into their touches. "Thank you."_

_Lily kissed him chastely on the lips, slightly off balance. "Of course, darling. Now, I'm going to put on the kettle. James, would you heat up dinner."_

_James squeezed his shoulders once more before letting go. "Sure. Hang tight, Reg. We'll be right back."_

_Regulus nodded and let them head into the kitchen. Once they were out of sight, he picked up his wand and sighed. His heart was slowly breaking in two, but James and Lily were wrong; they would be very good parents, with or without them._

_He just had to eliminate the mourning factor._

_Slowly, Regulus approached them. They didn't seem him at first, but both froze confusedly as they stared down his wand._

" _Regulus?" Lily's voice broke the silence. "Love, what are you doing?"_

" _The Dark Lord… I discovered his plan. And I need to stop him." He took a deep breath in. "And I don't want you to mourn me."_

" _What?" James shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous. Put that damn thing down so you can explain properly—"_

" _No. This… I love you."_

" _No, no, no." Lily was trembling, her green eyes glancing several feet away to where her wand lay. "Honey, don't you dare. You're upset, you're not thinking straight—"_

 _A single tear fell down Regulus' cheek. "It's the only way. Goodbye, James, Lily. And I… I really do love you._ Obliviate."

_Their tear-filled eyes glazed over, and Regulus took one last look at the two of them before he sobbed, running out of the house and cursing himself for ever existing. He wasn't fool enough to hope that they might reunite one day; he knew that there was no going back now._

_Maybe he should go straight to the cave. But someone… someone had to know. Someone had to make sure Lily and James were okay._

_And only two other people knew of his relationship with them._

* * *

Sirius sat back, stunned. His eyes never left Regulus' face.

"Regulus…" he breathed. "You wiped their memories?"

"Of me," Regulus replied, pain filling his voice. "Just of me."

Sirius scrubbed a hand over his face. He was starting to look angry; Regulus couldn't blame him. "And what? You expect me to cover for you? Remus knows about the relationship, too."

Regulus shrugged. "Ask him not to tell. Sirius, I need to… I need to go."

"Oh, hell no." Sirius grabbed his arm. "You think I'm going to let you leave?" It was hard to look intimidating in a woman's curlers, but Sirius somehow managed it. "No. We're going to sort this out and get you back to your family—"

"What's done is done, Sirius," Regulus snapped. "We can't go back. It's over." He wrenched himself out of his brother's grip and stood. "Face it; it's in the past. And I… I need to carry out my plan, or else I've sacrificed them for _nothing_. Is that what you want? For me to live a half-empty life?"

Sirius was so, so still. "I don't want you to die," he rasped. "You're my brother—and you took their chance at happiness away from them—"

"They'll be fine without me."

" _Because they won't bloody know any better, you twat."_ Sirius buried his head in his hands. "I hate you," he mumbled against his hands. "I hate you for putting me in this position. Lie to my best friends for my entire life? Let you go to your death?"

Regulus sighed and sat back down beside the older man. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm not asking for forgiveness, and I'm way past asking for permission, but… if the worst happens… I want you to find the other Horcruxes and destroy them." Regulus grabbed Sirius' hand and pulled it away from his face. "Promise me you will."

"I can't let you go."

Regulus swallowed. "I'm not giving you a choice."

"Reg…"

"I can't do this without you, Sirius." Regulus rubbed the back of his neck. "I… I need my brother."

Pained, Sirius closed his eyes. When he opened them, they were devoid of all emotion. "Come back to me," he begged softly. "Reg, please promise me you'll come back."

Regulus didn't respond for a long time. "I promise that I'll try."

It was the best he could offer.

Sirius, recognizing this, nodded, disappointed. Regulus got to his feet, his stomach lead and his heart heavy.

"Reg?"

Regulus paused by the door, his hand hovering over the handle. "Yeah?"

Two silent beats. Then—

"I love you."

Regulus looked one last time at his brother, taking in all the eccentricities that made him _him_. "I love you too, Sirius," he croaked. "Never change."

Then he was out the door.

* * *

Sirius waited and waited. He paced, he raged, he cried, he swore. But hours turned into days, then a full week, and he hadn't heard back from Regulus.

At first, he'd hardly dared to believe that it was true. Maybe he'd dreamed the whole encounter. But James and Lily were blissfully unaware that anything was amiss.

Two weeks after Regulus' disappearance, Sirius began his research on Horcruxes. He had to find them. He'd promised his brother.

And a large part of him hoped that, along the way, he'd be able to find Regulus.


End file.
